My Journey to Medicine

I'll begin in the seventeenth year of my life when I was just about to begin the second year of my A-Levels. In the earlier part of the year I was deciding on some sort of career path and I was thinking of following a career in Physics. Although I really enjoyed physics, Pa (my father) persuaded me to follow a medical career. Everyone thinks I wanted to do medicine because my parents told me to, but then I thought about the usefulness of Physics compared to medicine and decided I would be of more use to society as a medic. (Edit: No offence intended to physicists. I think ultimately I wouldn't have been happy as a physicist).

At this stage, I knew medicine was a tough subject and difficult to get into but I had confidence in my ability and I thought I was clever enough to get into medicine.I think this is what brought me down later on: overconfidence and denial of the possibility of failure, I thought that anyone in their right mind would never reject me from their university. Failure wasn't possible, probably unthinkable.(Edit: I came so very very close. I wasn't arrogant as such, I was just totally ignorant of the competition involved)

The first few seeds of the love of medicine sprang during my work experience which I did around the time of my seventeenth birthday. Earlier that year, I had completed a form to carry out work experience in the L&D hospital but I had never sent it off. Thank God, I had never sent it off. If I had I may have lost my interest in medicine altogether. (Edit: Later a friend told me his work experience at the L&D was one of the worst experiences of his life). Luckily, we were close with Nabil Ahmed's (fake names used) family in Newcastle (NA is a doctor; an excellent doctor in fact) and he arranged for me some work experience at Newcastle Freeman Hospital in the ophthalmology department. I am forever in debt to him and his family who cared for me that week, one of the best weeks of my life. I was quite nervous about staying with Gulman uncle; he had really warmed to my sister but, because of my shyness, Uncle and I never really connected and I thought I was going to have a hell of a time coping with Gulman Uncle's boisterous sense of humour. I remember Uncle calling me to check the flight details to Newcastle: trying to be polite and not wanting to be a pain in the backside I said I would get a taxi from the airport to their address.
Of course I was expecting a refusal of this invitation(Edit: As is customary in Pakistani culture. The whole invitation- refusal thing is more than just a tradition but a science), but not quite in the manner expected. I was nervous to begin with but Uncle got so vexed on the phone at my offer I was wondering whether I should book a spot at a cemetery in Newcastle in a weeks time to save Uncle the bother.

The flight to Newcastle was fine and as soon as I came into the terminal I saw Uncle and family waiting for me, warmly greeting me. They asked the usual questions that you ask someone who had a flight (Edit: I dont know about you but when somebody has just been on a flight I go through a structured set of questions - especially if they've just been to Pakistan) and commented on the weather. We got in the old red BMW, with uncle driving and I commented, during an awkward pause "So the taxi didn't come then". This poor attempt at rebuffing uncles humour with some of my own didn't go down well with him and after that he just thought I was a cheeky little git.

That weekend went very nicely, and Musa (Nabil's son) and I seemed to get along great. Uncle appreciated my interest in Musa. Anyway, on Monday morning I got ready to go to the hospital with Nabil. From the moment I sat in the consultation room I loved it. I learnt so much just by sitting in the consultation room listening to patients complaints and taking notes, it was incredible. I didn't really observe the doctor's history taking skills and clinical examination but more on the academic side about how diseases might develop etc. Some lunchtimes I used to report back to Nabil on the cases I went through by reviewing my notes and recalling consultations from there. I gained so much confidence that week not just from the hospital, but by staying with their family. The social interaction did me a world of good, not that it was completely an alien concept to me but I had never be on equal terms with the people I was talking to.(Edit: Up to that point I was socially retarded. I still have my moments, even though I'm going into a profession which is all about communication). Here, I seemed to be listened to and engaged in argument and discussion alike with my views being respected and being treated like a normal human adult. That week, on a quiet day I asked one of the doctors if i could practice using the ophthalmoscope to focus on the retina. I had tried it earlier with Dr. Griffiths but it didn't go too well.(Edit: It was literally what you would see if you stuck your head in the sand). This doctor, some Greek bloke, taught me how to use the ophthalmoscope properly and I saw the blind spot and blood vessels at the back of the eye quite clearly on a passing medical student.(Edit: Just grabbed her from the corridor and sat her down on the chair) I was so happy that day, and the doctor was quite pleased at my willingness to learn and joy at succeeding in using the ophthalmoscope.

There was one episode at the end of the week where I was playing cricket with some of the young lads on the common encircled by the houses, one of which was Uncle's. I was batting and hit the ball behind square and in the air and the ball hit the Micra that Nabil drove. It hit the right mirror and the mirror popped out. What were the chances of that? Well, the family noticed and at first thought it was one of the boys rather than me who hit the shot. I didn't want to get them in trouble so I confessed to it being me who hit it. Uncle was so vexed. I managed to fix the mirror back into its slot in the Micra, but stupidly before I had managed to do so I offered to uncle to pay for the damage. This obviously angered Uncle and he shouted at me and commented on my inability to pay. I was shaken and proceeded to my room to avoid further embarrassment at the hands of Uncle and I reflected on how I had ruined a perfectly good week. Chachi (auntie) was very apologetic for Uncle, I didn't see why, as far I could I was totally blameworthy and I had fallen into the trap of vexing Uncle by simply opening my trap at the wrong time. (Edit: Sometimes I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed) Chachi seemed to later blame it on his developing neurological disease causing a tremor in one of his hands, but to be honest I didn't see the connection.(Edit: In general, it s quite difficult to see what is going on in someone's brain) Then the following day I had planned to go in Salwar Kameez to the airport, which didn't please uncle as he saw me in the morning and asked me to get changed. Also at the airport he commented on how no-one else was wearing salwar kameez. To be honest I didn't care about what others were wearing and didn't see the logic behind this statement apart form increased exposure to cold. When I got back to Luton, I told no-one of these episodes and I don't see why anyone should need to know. Despite these setbacks my parents commented on how I was a visibly different person to beforehand, much more mature etc. Well after a few weeks I fell back into my normal old self again and continued in the same vein ever since. (Edit: Now and then you get the odd hameorrhage) However, I have never forgotten that week of my life, and formed a central part to my career decision and outline of what do with my life.

It turns out later that perhaps Uncle is developing Parkinsons disease. He does have a tremor in his left hand but Chachi next summer used it to explain his short-temperedness with me. I didn't believe it a jot (not that he has Parkinsons but that this is the cause of his short-temperedness).

I hope this first installment is interesting. I'm still trying to figure how to manipulate Blogger to show only part of the story and so when you click a link it shows the entire story on a separate page. Its incredibly basic stuff I know but bear with me as I 'learn the ropes'.